Hello & good-bye

I will introduce y'all to my beautiful daughter and then take my leave. I just don't have the time and energy to devote to LJ as I once did & it seems like most everyone else has jumped ship for the far shallower waters of Facebook anyhow.

If I know you, as in if you tell me your LJ name I will recognize it from comments or conversations we have had, you are welcome to add me on Facebook (and tell me your LJ in the request, so I know who you are!). If I don't know your LJ name, I'm sorry but in order to protect myself from some of the scumbags who have harassed me here over the years, I can't add you.

Anyhow, here's my sweet girl

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Daisy Verlaine McGinley

Lily & Sean are happy to announce the birth of their beautiful daughter Daisy Verlaine McGinley. She was born at 2:20pm on Friday, May 28th, weight 7lb 7oz and 21 inches. Lily is doing well & over the moon to have her family complete at last! Pictures to come!

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Okay, y'all, so I think of myself as forgiving and as someone who gives people the benefit of the doubt. To the point where my mother used to get angry at me for "taking back" friends in middle school/high school who had hurt me, because I always thought it wouldn't happen again.

Until it did.

As it turns out, she was right. I'm less forgiving than I am just plain stupid.

The day after I last posted, oddharmonic actually emailed me for the first time in a year. I was astonished. I was amazed. I was fool enough to be happy! She said if I could send her $20 for shipping, she would mail my quilt that saturday (March 27th) or she would mail it with her own money the first week of April.

Naturally I took choice number one. I even sent an extra $5 as a show of good faith.

Now, she was miffed that some people who read my last post had sent her some comment with obscenities & rudeness in them, and truthfully, I was too. I didn't want her getting attacked, I just wanted her to do the right thing. I told her I was sorry she'd been insulted and assured her that once I had a tracking number for my box, I would post that she had redeemed herself and how happy I was and that all was resolved.

I had visions of the box arriving at my door and just curling up under my mommy's quilt and crying with relief.

Except that never happened.

I am dumb enough that I really thought she'd do what she said! After all this time! The fact that she asked for money, which she never has done no matter how many times I offered, and accepted said money...I'm such an idiot I believed that meant she was going to follow through at long last. Because like I said, I give people the benefit of the doubt. Over and over again. Much to my detriment.

I guess taking my money and (more cruelly) holding out hope was punishment for posting about this & for having friends who sent her nastygrams, supposedly at my behest. That's all I can figure, since she's not speaking to me in any way. She posted about some current financial issues they were having and stated This makes me have little patience for people I don't know leaving condescending and/or rude comments because I am in the process of settling something with Their Online Friend. I'm pretty sure Jesus would not do that.

Then she banned me from leaving comments.

I don't call what she's doing "settling" something.

Instead she took my money, never sent it, and went right back to ignoring my emails and phone calls. When the first and second weeks of April passed and she still hadn't returned any emails, nor sent me a tracking number, I opened a Paypal dispute. Not as much to get my money back, but as a way to force her to communicate with me.

She didn't. I've since escalated it & I'm waiting for my refund. Which means nothing to me, I don't want my frickin' $25 back, I want my quilt.

Which I have now pretty much accepted that I'm never going to see again.

It makes me sad. And it makes me feel stupid that I actually thought otherwise for a while there :(

ETA I do realize that posting this where she can read it is fairly passive-aggressive, but it's not like she will acknowledge any other communication from me, including a paypal dispute, so what do I have to lose? At least y'all make me feel a little better by caring about what's happened & agreeing that it was very unkind and unjust.

What to do?

I'm fine, baby's great, pregnancy progressing much better than last time. No bedrest yet, which is wonderful because I don't know how I could be on bedrest with an active little boy who doesn't nap and who sleeps 10 hours a night if I'm lucky.

The same reason I am pretty much MIA from LJ, I just don't have time to sit down and write. I'm as guilty as most everyone else of abandoning the in-depth sharing of LJ for the shallow 5 second updates of Facebook because that's about what my schedule allows me.

But anyway, but anyway (in the words of Henry Rollins) I need some advice.

Long time readers may remember, well over 3 years ago, when the quilt my mamma made got ruined. It was very special to me, she made it when I was about 6 or 7, it was white eyelet with pink satin backing, it had a kitty applique and I just loved it. It was only used occasionally, like when I was sick or sad, and even after she died and it became mine full time, I only broke it out for extra special comfort.

Then I had to wash it & it got snagged in the machine. The satin backing got shredded. I was devastated.

I posted about it here & oddharmonic kindly offered to fix it for me. I sent it to her. She claimed it was fixed several months later & that she was going to send it back as soon as she could get a ride to the post office.

Never happened. She'd intermittently ask me for my address and tell me she had a plan to mail it out on this day or that day. Never happened. On and on for years this went. Last year she had a great deal of personal issues in her life and I tried to be sympathetic, even though after 3 years I was pretty fed up with waiting. I would frequently offer her money for my completed quilt as well as shipping. She'd never take me up on it. Her biggest obstacle seemed to be getting a ride to the post office, so I offered to have a local friend come pick it up. She was unwilling to allow "a stranger" to come to her home. I offered any amount of money for cab fare + shopping + her time. I offered to arrange a pre-paid UPS pick up, anything to get this precious heirloom back into my hands.

So she took to ignoring me. She unfriended me on Facebook, wouldn't respond to my emails or message requests. She screens comments on her LJ and won't post or reply to mine. She won't answer the phone when I call. She's blocked me from texting her. I don't have her address.

I don't understand. I really don't. As far as I knew we were friends, I don't know that I ever did anything to hurt or offend her. I appreciated her offer so much & I don't know why this happened.

My heart literally HURTS over this. I am having a baby girl in 2 months and it would mean so much to me for her to have something her grandmother made her, the only thing she'd ever have that my mom had created herself. I cry about it whenever I think about it. I realize that at this point she has probably thrown it away or sold it on craigslist or something, which breaks my heart to consider, but I want to know. If it's gone & I have no hope of ever seeing it again, I'd like to at least know to give up that hope. It's hard.

What would you do?

blah blah blah

Yeah, I have been an absentee LJ person. I read when I can (usually when Cash is sitting on my lap watching homemade Thomas videos on youtube, which he will gladly do for hours if I let him) but between Cash no longer napping and still being nauseated and exhausted and headachey at night...I just don't have the motivation to write a big post.

I'm having my cerclage surgery tomorrow, 4 weeks earlier than last time which will hopefully prevent total bedrest.

We went to Mississippi for Thanksgiving with MiL, who Cash has decided to call "Homer". It was nice, but the drive was miserable, Cash just hates long car trips. He is not into sitting still. We went to a buffet at the swanky Island View hotel for Thanksgiving which was delicious, and Cash got to have pizza and mac & cheese for his meal, plus all you an eat cookies, so he was happy.

We did have to watch Finding Nemo 500 times on the trip though because MiL only has 1 television, so Cash was in charge.

So that's pretty much what's up with me.

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i don't need a stranger to let me know my baby's let me down

Finally caught up on this season of Fringe. I just adore that show!

Nice tribal on Survivor last week.

I got another peek at baby Prizes on friday last, s/he has a heartrate of 175 (Cash's was never over 145) and likes Skynrd. S/he was all curled up until "Sweet Home Alabama came on the office PA, then s/he started to dance!

Back to us

Up until last week, Cash hasn't expressed a preference, but on wednesday he said he wanted the baby to be a girl. I think it's just because he likes Tyler's baby sister Lily so much.

Also before bed, he said BEE BEE! BEE BEE! and we were looking for his baby doll or a small version of a stuffed animal and then he said BEE BEE! again and lifted up my shirt to pat my belly. I guess he's got the idea at last.

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